Shape of my heart

I watch you...

I am not a stalker...or am I?
I do not know.
I admire you from afar; for that’s all I can do, I’m a coward. I know that, but I’m afraid nothing will change that.
I try to repress these feelings for they can’t be true, I’m invisible to you, how can one love a person they have never really met, but then again why does my heart speed up whenever I see you or think of you...please answer me this...for I will never know.

I watch you, for that’s all I can do, you walk away from me...you don’t see me, I am nothing to you, I can’t even talk to you...

I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

Sometimes I wonder if I should approach you, but a voice inside my head tells me not to that you would only mock me and laugh at me for my silliness, I also wonder if you are the same person I imagine you to be…that if I really got to know you I my love would die…I love you anyway for I am a sad person

I watch you like an invisible ghost


And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I turn around and mean to walk away, but I can’t, something is pulling me, holding me back, my eyes are fixed on you, my heart pounding
This is the moment, this is the hour, this is the day
I move towards you, step by step...I can almost hear you voice in my head, your beautiful soft voice...but it’s mocking me, telling me what a silly girl I am...telling me to go away and leave you alone...
I can’t do it
I realize that this is a lost battle I’m fighting
I lay down my sword and bow my head in defeat
The killing blow comes quickly

I take one last look at you then walk away, sadness gripping my heart like a cold iron fist, tears of liquid fire burning my eyes, I close them, try to block out these unwelcome feelings but they won’t go away, I guess I’ll just have to live with them, knowing they’ll never be fulfilled, I will never know you…

I walk away

I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

I let you go…